On Relationships

[chargirlgenius]

I remember realizing when my friends weren't perfect.

Scratch that. I've always known that, I know that nobody is perfect.

But, I do remember the day I realized that my friends weren't perfect, and that it was ok. It was more than ok. It meant that I didn't have to be perfect either.

When you first meet a new friend or lover, they seem like the perfect person. Maybe they have potential to be a match made in heaven, somebody amazing to look up to and to mentor you, or what have you. The longer you get to know them, the more cracks appear in the facade. It never fails. The better and deeper you know somebody, the more you get to know their flaws.

I've never loved anybody who didn't drive me batty on occasion. (Read: yes, you all drive me batty sometimes)

And honestly, I'm certain that nobody who has ever loved me hasn't been driven batty on a regular basis. (Read: yes, I know I drive YOU all batty sometimes)

But, that's ok. We're not perfect. Our friends aren't perfect. They drive us nuts, we drive them nuts, we all have personality quirks that grate a bit.

But, what makes them friends is that they still love you anyway (and vice versa). Not even always despite your flaws, but flaws and all.

Comments

[quodscripsi.livejournal.com]

It isn't as though there are not people I respect but it has been a long time since I've met, known of or heard of someone I have any interest being like or emulating in any way. I think part of it is that I'm rather atypical in who I am and part of it is that I had a very strong roll model in the SCA when I was 19-21 and then he very much fell from grace, and not just mine but ruined his marriage and all but destroyed his life. I was never taught how to be a leader and accept the burden of possibly being looked up to so while in some ways I should be in the position of being looked up to these days I never learned or was taught the lessons that would enable me to do that especially since my natural wish is to be below the radar.

The thing about women is that sometimes I think yall are being difficult for the purpose of being difficult and other times yall are difficult because yall are different then men are. Part of me just wants to be honest which would likely blow up in my face, part of me says to just give up and part of me says ok we'll try this on my terms and see how long until I decide it is a loss. Its freaking hard enough to strike up a conversation when someone is intently working on a project but its impossible to know if your conversation is going decently if they remain intently on the project and not on the conversation.