Dreaded "truthtellers"

[chargirlgenius]

Has anybody else ever noticed that the phrase “I have an A-type personality” usually is a euphemism for “I’m a jerk”? Likewise “I like to tell it like it is” or “I call a spade a spade” usually means “I’m rude.”

I know a lot of people who have a-type personalities that *don’t* manage to offend everybody that they meet.

Comments

[duchesspadr.livejournal.com]

I find that anyone who labels himself with one of those minikers is indeed, rude, or a jerk, or is putting you on your guard that they intend to behave poorly.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

putting you on your guard that they intend to behave poorly

Yes. Or now making excuses why somebody else thinks they’re a jerk.

[jljonsn.livejournal.com]

"A" is not necessarily for "A$$hole"

[martelvonc.livejournal.com]

I'm an "SR" personality. I like to use my Springy Ruler on folks like that.

*slap* OW!

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Yay!

I'll tell ya like it is... You're an ass!

[mare-in-flames.livejournal.com]

I am very much in cynicism mode today right along with you.

Now granted, I do exactly this sometimes - but instead of saying "I have a Type A personality", or "*shrug* I call a spade a spade", I generally say "I'm being a mouthy bitch right now."

Cause, when that's what I'm doing, that's what it's called. Not "honesty". Honesty has room for manners, propriety, courtesy, dignity and compassion. Being a mouthy fucking bitch? That's different. I'm not saying I never do it. Oh, far from. But it's a different animal altogether and those excuses don't wash. Hell, no excuses wash - if you're going to get down and be evil, do it and own it. (And try not to do it when other methods will serve...)

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Hell, no excuses wash - if you're going to get down and be evil, do it and own it.

Yep. I'm certainly not the most fluffy bunny person in the world, but I don't say "I'm A-type" and expect to get away with being rude because of it.

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

The worst are the ones who are obsessed with "speaking truth to power". We have one such in our volunteer organization (it's an amateur sports league, and we hold big events and donate portions of the proceeds to charities). Every goddamn issue comes down to making the world a better place for her daughters, which includes her flipping out over us even debating supporting the local zoo ("Zoos are animal cruelty!") and insulting all cheerleaders when a local pro sports team's cheerleading squad offered to come to one of our events. (They work out in one of our team leaders' gym! They're athletes, and nice people to boot! But OHMIGOD cheerleading is antifeminist and horrible! Regardless of the fact that like a quarter of the girls on the league were cheerleaders in high school and found it a positive experience that they're proud of.)
Jeez, you know, it must be so nice to be able to immediately label good and evil and just flip out about them all the time, but it also used to be important to be considerate. I really really fear what she's actually teaching her daughters.
Especially since her husband is the league's videographer and overtly stated that he tried to include as many "ass shots" in the highlight reels as possible. Mostly of players who weren't exactly thrilled to see themselves in such a ... faceless... starring role.
Because that's not antifeminist.

Anyone who introduces themselves with a standard disclaimer immediately is on probation with me. Actually useful, thought-out warnings like, "I sometimes forget to be nice so remind me" and "I'm really sensitive to noise so I might snap at you if you're loud, don't take it personally" go a long way toward getting the benefit of the doubt, because they actually display some thought-out self-knowledge and actual concern for how you might make other people feel. But warnings like you mentioned? Yeah, someone noticed they had no friends and got those phrases out of a self-help book without actually thinking about whether these "qualities" in themselves are actually good ones.

[pirategirleee.livejournal.com]

Yeah I've often noticed the tendancy of these people to forget that their opinion is just that...an opinion and open for others to reject. Cuzz you know, they are so much wiser than everyone else....

:P

My two cents

[pirategirleee.livejournal.com]

Yeah I sometimes think that people use the claim that they are "A-type," personality to just be a jerk. I also notice a lot of those types seem to not have much of a conscience or care how their words or actions impact others.

I try to stay away from people like that. I'm happy being a Beta, thank you very much :)

[frualeydis.livejournal.com]

A-type personality?

/Eva

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Go-getters, get things done, highly efficient.

Many of these qualities are good. Many people use it as an excuse to be a jerk.

[isabelladangelo.livejournal.com]

I'm just stubborn and clueless...:-D The two really do go hand in hand, sadly.

I watch people rather than listen to lables, whether self inflicted or not. If the person does something that I find off or rude (with out a good reason, because if you curse, that is rude...but if you curse because you stubbed your toe against a metal chair, that's different) in the first 5~10 minutes of me meeting them, then I tend not to want to know anymore about them. If you cannot control yourself when meeting someone in the first few minutes, then how can you control yourself in a less "formal" situation?

my thoughts...

[kevindharner.livejournal.com]

Some people just suffer from "rectal visualitis" and opinions are like assholes..everyone has one including me

[beatrixherald.livejournal.com]

I count myself in the "too honest for some people" category, but because I am considerate and polite, I do not find myself needing a warning. Sure, I call it like I see it, but I dont rub it in anyone's face. You can be Honest, A-Type, or even kind of a jerk, as long as you are polite, most people will not be offended. I have had very few complaints about my behavior going by that policy.

However, there are always uber sensitive people who only want to hear what they like who will be upset no matter what.

Those claims (in my opinion) are usually a justification for not mending personality flaws. It is NEVER ok to be rude, mean, or a jerk. But it is ok to be organized, punctual and honest.

Ummmm....

[shalmestere.livejournal.com]

I haven't noticed said phrase being used that way, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised that somebody does :-/

OTOH, I have been known to use "I'm a Type A...", myself--but as an explanation for why I have a hard time relaxing, or delegating, or not worrying--you know, things that are actual Type A characteristics. Guess I'd better be careful about using that turn of phrase now :->

Re: Ummmm....

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

I think you would be an example of what's socially acceptable Type-A behavior. :-D

[pumaviking.livejournal.com]

Also? when someone says "It is what it is"... often means "it sucks but i'm too lazy to fix it." (I shudder when i find myself saying that, altho lately i've been using it as "yes, it sucks for me, but i really don't want to talk about it anymore.")

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Know that feeling. I'm well aware of my personality quirks, but I'm not proud of them, y'know?

[attack-laurel.livejournal.com]

Tennessee Williams said "all cruel people describe themselves as paragons of honesty".

I have known several paragons of honesty. And some bitches who could dish it out, but sure as hell couldn't take it.

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

I knew I'd heard a quote to that point somewhere...

[jemala-malvada.livejournal.com]

Apparently I live in a bubble. I've rarely heard anyone annouce type-A except maybe me when explaining why I maybe spent more time on a project making sure it was right then it might have called for.

Since when did type-A turn into a propensity to be a jerk? I always thought it was attention to detail, perfectionist, work-a-holic (sometimes). Maybe I misunderstand the classifications.

As for "I tell it like it is" and the like...uh yeah. Just a warning that they're likely to be a jerk and justify it by claiming to be uber-honest. Honesty is well and good...as long as you check your facts, and the potential impact to the people around you!

[chargirlgenius.livejournal.com]

Type A = "I'm alpha male". I've heard it used to mean the things you describe, but I've heard it used to mean "jerk", too.

Then again, I’ve said “I’m ENTP”, but I do usually try to temper that. :D

[akgnome.livejournal.com]

i tend to use the phrase 'equal opportunity offender.' i try to be nice as much as possible, even when being honest, but there are those times in which that phrase comes in handy....

[sutragirl.livejournal.com]

A-type personalities are people who use a label for an excuse to be ass holes. If you have to label yourself as anything start with the basics. I'm human, female, american. That's a start. I have my moments when I'm rude, I know it. When I'm prejudiced I understand why its that way. I have a low tolerance for people who are not 'honest' I don't care if the tell the truth, but they need to be consistent if you're as ass and you always are then I can deal, but being an ass one day and an angel the next is just not going to fly.

[shalmestere.livejournal.com]

Gee, thanks.... :-)

[thatpotteryguy.livejournal.com]

Many people don't just use the label as justification for boorish beahvior; they also exepct you to _accomodate_ them when they are pissing you off..."Oh, I'm Type-A, I can't help the fact that I'm destructive to morale and nobody can stand me...you all still ahve to shut up and take it, because it's just the way I am..."

Spiked clue-by-four to the face.

[salviati.livejournal.com]

I know someone very much like that. I don't think she's labeled herself as "Type A" (though maybe she has, I don't know) but she has (recently!) used "I have a strong personality" as an excuse for being rude and insensitive. People just can't handle her expressing her opinions, you see.

My feeling on the matter is, if the rest of the world can't handle you, maybe the problem isn't the rest of the world - maybe, just maybe, the problem is you.

[aeliakirith.livejournal.com]

Quite frequently, that's my experience. People who say "I say it like it is" often mean "Don't expect me to be polite."

[love3angle.livejournal.com]

The quote I remember is "Honesty without compassion is cruelty." Don't remember who said it, though.

It is one among many excuses people use for deflecting people's rections to their own bad behavior.

[belmikey.livejournal.com]

I'm a rude jerk.

There, I called a spade a spade :-D

(Actually, I'm not really all that type A, I don't think...)

Other euphemisms for rudeness....

[dragonazure.livejournal.com]

"I'm just being emotionally honest."
"I am very forthright...."
"I do not suffer fools gladly..."
"I don't have a lot of practice being mealy-mouthed..."

Oops. And I forgot anything that leads or ends with "Bless yore heart"